If you would have asked me over a year ago (or even as recently as a month ago) what forgiveness meant to me I would have probably said, "Forgiveness? Oh, yeah, I forgive people. When they say 'I'm sorry' I forgive". But do I really? I mean honestly and truly? We say we "forgive" the offender, but why do we still harbor stuff against them? It eventually comes back to the surface. Unforgiveness gives lead way for bitterness to enter into our lives, and from there retaliation, and so forth.
Here's an example: Your brother/sister does something that hurts or offends you. He/she apologizes and you say "I forgive you". Later that day (after dwelling on the fact that you still can't believe he/she had the nerve to do that certain thing), that same person accidentally bumps into you and you drop your books on the floor. Instead of saying, "No problem" or "That's okay", you say (because you've been thinking about the other offense) "What's your deal?!" or "Watch where you're going!" or simply shout their name in an angry tone. Too many times I have been guilty of these very things. It's much easier to push things under the rug, than to deal with them quickly. Life gets busy and you never get the chance to mend the relationship. Before you know it, what was a "little" thing, festers into a major break out, all because you weren't willing to let go and forgive.
On many occasions forgiveness, whether you're on the giving or receiving end, won't be easy. Remember, it's not a feeling, it's a choice. Matthew says, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
So, therein lies the challenge for all of us. Who might you be holding unforgiveness and bitterness toward? Don't just say, "Oh, yes, I've forgiven everyone," rather, check your heart and ask God to show you who and what you may be harboring against someone (e.g., a parent, teacher, sibling, or maybe even a friend). Once you are walking in agreement with the spirit of unforgiveness, you are walking in agreement with the principality of bitterness as well. And his goal is to ruin your life and as many of your relationships as possible. Know your enemy!
Remember, mending broken relationships is not going to happen overnight--it takes time and effort on your part. Stay alert, though. After you clean all the dirt from under your life's rug, the enemy will stop at nothing to try and get you back into your life. "...'I [the enemy] will return to the house I left'..." (Matt. 12:43-45; James 4:7-8).
Be encouraged... "For what is impossible (or seems impossible) with men is possible with God" (Luke 18:27).
May you be blessed and know that God will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb. 13:5). Search for Him, and you will find him (Deu. 4:29; Jer. 29:13). You won't have to look far, and most likely you'll discover that He's been by your side the whole time, waiting for you to choose.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Morgan
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it out onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6)
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This is another one of my life songs right now. It's called "Forgiveness" and is written and sung by Matthew West. When I feel the unforgivness trying to creep back up in my thoughts, I pray, renew my mind, and listen to this song (surprisingly enough, I'll go up in my room on many occasions and this song is playing on the radio...thank you Jesus! His timing is so perfect.). Listen to the words and allow them to speak into your life.
